


Golden eyes and broken hearts.

by Staronet



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Anxious Katsuki Yuuri, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexual Victor Nikiforov, Depressed Victor Nikiforov, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Endgame Victuuri, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Grand Prix Final Banquet, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Ice Skating, M/M, Minor Injuries, No Smut, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Post-Banquet, Recovery, References to Depression, Sakura (Cherry Blossoms), Supportive Katsuki Yuuri, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, chapters are song lyrics cause I am weak like that, cheating?????, don't worry your cute little butt no dogs will die, female abuser, idk i'll let you decide, no glorifying abuse, not as bad as it sounds, some ogs are dicks, they'll get whats coming to them, yes there will be a play list
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-04-18 05:23:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14205993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Staronet/pseuds/Staronet
Summary: Victor Nikiforov has a perfect life. He's a five time world champion with money to spare, a beautiful girl on his arm and dozens willing to take her place.At least, thats what people seeVictor Nikiforov doesn't have a perfect life, he's a five time world champion with enemies to spare, money that he can't control and a beautiful girl with an ugly heart.One that leaves bruises on his pale skin, makes sure he knows he's pathetic and tells him this is what love is.He believes this and accepts that his life will always be like this.That is until Japan's ace, Yuuri Katsuki dances into his life showing him what life and love truly looks like.





	1. This is my roaring, roaring 20's

**Author's Note:**

> A trigger warning here; This chapter feature abuse and abusive language, there is homophobic language but no what I like to call, "F-word" dropped here. There will be a lot of this throughout the fic so please if this can trigger you don't read it. You are more important than my shitty fic. 
> 
> Also please read the end notes there is something I'd like to address there about this fic

Victor stared at the champagne glass in his hand, slightly swishing the bubbly liquid inside he pretended to no notice. The flirtatious winks and fingers brushing down the sponsors arm, after all what was he to think about that. She hasn’t done it again so it was all a ploy, that's just how she is.

The conversation turned to him and his deal and he struck up a smile, laughed at all the right moments and gazed lovingly into her eyes when ever he talked about her. After all he did love her, loved her grey eyes and thin smile. Her red hair and perfect nose, she was perfect just what he wanted. What everyone wanted. 

_They had met when he was twenty-five at a summer festival, Victor didn’t want to go but Chris insisted that they go and see what the hype was all about. They had had one more day before they would be separated again and he relented only so he could spend time with his friend. The festival was full of screaming kids running in between booths, the shrieks of thrill riders could be heard in every direction. They’d explored around, ridden a few rides and ate food that killed their diet. It was the last few hours of sunlight when he met her, a puff of red chalk was thrown at him and when he turned to see the source. He was stunned, out of his anger, instead he was mesmerized by her beauty. She cupped her mouth and after a few moments she started to apologize,_

_“I’m so sorry! I thought you were my friend!”_

_He’d smiled at her._

_“I’ll buy you a new shirt if you want! I’m so sorry.”_

_He laughed and held out his hand,_

_“It’s okay, it was a mistake after all. My name is Victor and yours is?”_

_“Nancy.”_

The sponsor had bid them goodbye to move on to another skater, Nancy took a sip at her champagne before she spoke again,

“You should style your hair like his.” Nancy didn’t look at him as she just went back to sipping her drink.

“I thought you liked my hair style.” he kept his tone light and bubbly as he led her over to there table, “You did tell me you liked it more than my long hair.”

Nancy made a noise at the mention of his once long hair, “And good thing you changed it, you looked hideous. You’re lucky I fell in love with you with that hair.”

He smiled, “I’m glad you did as well.” They reached the round table, there dinner plates had been cleared and all that was left was the white table cloth and water glasses. He pulled the chair out for Nancy before taking his seat next to her. His eyes were immediately drawn to the small figure in the back, his shoulders hunched over and gulping down his seventh drink. Japan’s ace, Katsuki Yuuri. Victor didn’t keep his eyes on the competition, he had always wanted to be surprised when he would face them off. However he had broken that rule when it came to Japan’s ace.

He was bored that day when he stumbled on a youtube video linked to him titled, _“Yuuri Katsuki mentioning Victor Nikiforov for three minutes straight.”_ The thumbnail was of a post workout Yuuri with a towel pressed to the side of his face. He had never clicked so fast. 

_The way he had said his name stirred a warm feeling in his chest, it was undeniably adorable. He didn’t understand in which the context he was saying his name as it was all in Japanese, but that didn’t matter to him. Soon he was searching up everything to do with the young skater, his breath was taken away by the way he moved on the ice. His step sequences left him breathless and leaving him with wanting more. His jumps were shaky but after is confidence grew after landing the first one the rest of the jumps were strong. He was a beauty on the ice and Victor wanted to meet him on it._

_When Nancy had come back to the apartment to find him asleep with that first video of Yuuri on, well she hadn’t shared that same sentiment._

“Don’t look at him. He’s a disgrace.” Nancy gripped his upper arm, and he jumped.

“He’s -”

“Don’t argue with me Victor,” Nancy pulled his face down to meet hers, “You only look at me. Not that fat screw up. Remember what I said.” 

“Yes honey.” he cast his eyes down.

Nancy had carried the conversation on about something, Victor didn’t know what. All he did was smile, nod and think of Yuuri. He knew he shouldn’t, after all he belonged to Nancy. He shouldn’t think of others because like she had said to him, he can only look at her.

It was ten minutes later when Nancy rose from her seat, “I’m going out for a smoke, stay here.” He nodded as she slipped out of the banquet room, taking the scent of perfume and smoke with her. Victor didn’t like her smoking habit but when he mentioned it that ended nowhere but him kneeling asking her for forgiveness.

“And now he’s finally free.” A voice purred in Victors right ear, he flinched but quickly smiled.

“Chris!”

“Hiya,” Chris plopped himself in the chair next to him, “I see you still are with Nancy.” Chris’s arm rested on the back of the chair, legs perfectly crossed.

Victor laughed, “Of course we still are, we have been for about two years now.”

“How is that going?” 

He sighed, “Very well, I-I think I might propose,”

“You might what.” Chris’s deminior of sensual sexuality dropped as he practically yelled his response.

“Yes, well. She talked about it to me.”

Chris relaxed back into his chair, “How so?”

“She just asked when I was going to ask.” he failed to mention it wasn’t a one time deal.

“Oh so it won’t be a surprise?” Chris signaled for the server to come over.

“Well you know how much Nancy hates surprises.” He laughed as they both plucked champagne off of the golden tray, Chris thanked the man before turning back to Victor.

“Are you sure?”

Victor sipped his drink, the usual warmth it gave was gone, “With what?”

Chris sighed, “Victor, with marrying her. You,” Chris paused which gave time for Victor to think of a response, “You don’t seem like yourself anymore.”

“I am sure Chris, and we all know that she has changed me for the better.” He swirled his drink once more.

“Victor-” Chris was cut off by a confident yell,

“I challenge you to a dance off!” in the middle of the dance floor stood Yuuri Katsuki, in a firm stance pointing to none other than Yuri Plisetsky. The man's tie was gone and his shirt loosely buttoned.

“No way in hell!” Yuri folded his arms.

“Once you have been challenged you can’t back down, after all you did say you could beat me at anything!” Yuuri had a devilish smirk on his face, by now a crowd had formed around which included Victor and Chris at the front.

“I can!”

“Then accept the challenge!”

“NO!” Yuri was fuming.

“Fine then,” Yuuri shrugged his shoulders, “I’ll start it anyways.” He nodded to the dj who turned on song fit for the dance off, Victor couldn’t believe his eyes when the shy boy who hid in the corner. Had video compilations about saying his name, started to break dance. Not like some kid who found a youtube video and wanted to impress a girl, it was like he came out of the womb doing it.

A gasp tore itself from Victor which caused Chris to smirk, “hmm like what you see?”

“N-No,” did he like what he saw, “I just can’t believe what's going on.”

Chris’s smirked grew bigger, “Sure.”

He made a move to defend himself when a cry of his name and something flying at him made him flinch back, he closes his eyes and waited. 

“Victor?” at Chris’s voice he opened his eyes just in time to see Yuri furiously ripping off his tie and joining in the match. Yuuri laughed in triumph and continued on.

“Yuri, threw this at you…” Chris’s voice trailed off, in his hand was the bright yellow case of the teens phone. A roaring tiger on the back glared back up at him, reminding him of Nancy.

“Oh,” he took the phone, flicking the phone on he smiled, “Say Chris. I think we need some photos to commemorate Yuri’s defeat.”

“Ohhh I say so as well.” they both gave knowing smile before capturing many photos of the two Yuri’s dance off. While Yuri was quick at adapting and light on his feet, Katsuki had him beat. The older man must have taken classes because there was no way he could be this good and have not. His heart fluttered and he felt a bubble of what, what he didn’t know but all he knew is that it made him giggity.

That's when it ended, Yuri thoroughly beat. He of course was upset about this and kept demanding a rematch.

“I think not.” Yuuri was tapping his lip his eyes searching for something, the music changed to a fast beat song. One that kids at prom would dance too, Yuuri’s eyes met Victor’s. He felt breathless as the man practically skipped towards him.

“Instead I challenge you to a dance off!” Yuuri grabbed his hand before he could protest, something in Victor wanted to yank back but he couldn’t. He watched as Yuuri started to dance again, free style it looked like this time.

“Victorrr! Dance with me!” Yuuri turned to him, a laugh escaped him. His chest felt lighter, he tossed his and Yuri’s phones to Yuri and Chris who somehow caught them before he joined Japan’s ace in a dance. The rest of the room turned into nothing as he danced with the man, there synchronized moves were on his mind instead. The way Yuuri moved his hips and his glorious behind, the feeling of him pressed against him as they danced hand in hand. When he dipped Victor his eyes crinkled almost shut, his smile big and heart shaped. A laugh, a real laugh escaped his lips as he stared at the man holding him. A laughed from Yuuri matched his.

The song ended and so did a part of the lightness for him, however Yuuri still clung to him.

“Yuuri~” Chris now stood next to them, “I bet you can’t beat me on the pole.” He winked before they all turned to see the shining sliver pole at the end of the dance floor. 

“How did it get there?” Victor didn’t remember seeing that earlier.

“Doesn’t matter, I say we have a go at it.” they both turned to see Yuuri already slipping off his pants, a few gasps could be heard throughout the crowded as well as an angry Yuri standing off to the side. Chris soon followed suit with him taking off everything but his underwear, thank god.

That's when a solid mass collided into him and started grinding on him, stunned at the sudden weight he held still. He stared at the man wrapping him in his arms, shamelessly grinding him doing everything in his willpower to not blush.

“Victor…” God how he loves to hear Yuuri pronounce his name, “After this season ends my family runs a hot spring resort, so please come.” Yuuri’s face turned to meet his and all Victor can do is match his eyes, brown but yet teaming with gold, “If I win this dance off.... You’ll become my coach, right.” His arms slowly slide down his body as he lets go, he suddenly jumps wrapping his arms around his neck, “Be my coach! Victor!”

God how Victor loves this boy. His face blushes as a gasp escapes him. Before he can process everything the warm embrace of Yuuri is gone and he is dragging Chris to the pole. He’s shaking as he is processing what just happened, what he just thought. 

He’s in more awe again, that breathless feeling returning, his heart beating as he watches Yuuri’s strong thighs grip the pole. His muscles flexing and the downright sinful seduction power he held. Already Yuuri had beaten Chris, the man still gave it his all even taking a champagne bottle with him. He splashed the liquid out and on to a few bystanders. Chris hopped off the pole when Yuuri dragged him back, the surprise yelp made by Chris made him laugh. Watching these two was downright explicit, Yuuri lifting both himself and Chris on the pole. Yuuri standing on his split legs, lord have mercy on his soul.

A cat like grip ripped him out of his wonder, “Victor.” Nancy was there, her fake nails digging into his arm. He didn’t notice the slightly smeared lipstick or the flat curls of her hair. He just noticed the guilt and was it fear he felt.

“You’re back, You’ve- you have missed a lot.” he tried to keep his voice steady, he knew what was coming and he deserved it.

“I can see that, why don’t we return to our room.” Nancy gave no choice for Victor as she dragged him out of the room, a sharp smile on her lips and a equally fake one on Victor’s. His chest felt tight now, before he was fully dragged out he made eye contact with Yuuri. The man's brow furrowed and his smile turned down.

“You won Yuuri!” He called before he disappeared from the man's warm filled stare.

Now he felt cold, almost numb. He kept up with Nancy’s pace as much as he could, but she was still a step ahead of him. The sting of her nails made him grit his teeth, he’s preparing himself for what's to come. The ride up to there room was quite, filled with tension. His heartbeat picked up and he tugged a bit on her grip. It tightened and he let out a small cry.

The door slammed behind them.

Then she struck, his shoulder hitting the wall was a dull pain that spread throughout him. She yanked on his tie, his neck screaming in protest as it choked him.

“You bitch!” Nancy’s voice was harsh, sharp and quiet. No way anyone can know that Victor Nikiforov was getting what he deserved in there room, they wouldn’t understand. They would call the police and it was just like Nancy says, he deserves it.

“I love you and this is how you treat me!” Nancy yanks the tie as she steps out of the way and his face meets the carpet, its rough and it burns.

“Nancy I-” he grunts as her foot meets his bruised hip.

“Get up you dick, I want you to tell me your miserable lies to my face.”

He was shaking, his arms felt like jello and his chest felt heavy. She grabbed his tie once again an dragged him to the bed room, they didn’t bother to turn on the lights. The moon and the city below castes enough light.

She turned to him and he flinched, “Nancy, I- please don’t hurt me.” he knew it was useless.

“After what I saw! You were looking at him like you couldn’t wait to hop on his dick! You were flirting with him weren’t you!”

He tried to meet her eyes but the slap to the face prevented that, it stung and his eyes filled with tears, “Nancy I swear-”

“Oh you swear! I am the only one who will ever love you Victor Nikiforov. You have no one but me, and this is how you repay me!” Nancy’s voice was raised or at least to Victor it was.

“I know that Nancy, only you.” he stared at the nude carpet, “Not my mother, father, Chris, Yakov. Only you.” 

“That’s right, You are unlovable,” he flinched back his eyes screwing shut, “An ugly bastard who is lucky that I love you. Victor no one will love you but me.”

His head fills with the repeating phrase, no one will love him but her.

“I saw the way you looked at that man, that fat disappointment who would be better off dead.”

Rage, “Yuuri is nothing of what you say he is.” the words slip out of his mouth before he could stop them, a heartbeat passes. Nancy’s face contorted with rage a perfect fake nailed hand flys at his face again, this time it isn’t her palm. Instead it’s her nails clawing his face a cry of pain and he’s down holding his cheek in his hand, small droplets of blood leak on to his hand.

“You-” Nancy didn’t speak, too enraged. 

Victor knew what was going to happen, he did it. This was his own fault.

The force in which he was knocked down, hurt his lungs, hurt his leg as it awkwardly slipped out from under him.

“I thought I had changed you! Turned you from your disgusting lust for men! Clearly I haven’t yet!”

He didn’t fight back as she hit him, ripping the buttons on his shirt to make it easier to get to his chest. Easier for it to hurt more. He didn’t feel it, only the sadness of his ruined shirt, he liked that one. His eyes glazed over as he stared out at the moon light, thinking of the warmth of Yuuri’s hug and the specks of gold in his eyes.


	2. The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor sees a video of Yuuri skating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Abuse and minor injury

Dull pain, that was the first thing Victor felt when he woke up. The pain in his back from sleeping on the floor, his leg from where it had awkwardly slipped out from under him. He struggled slowly onto his feet before he was able to support himself with bed frame, glancing down he could see Nancy tucked in bed asleep still. It was early and they need to be up and packing for there flight soon, he moved to her sleeping figure and bushed a few strands of hair away from her face. They were soft to the touch.

“Nancy, honey.” he placed a kiss on her forehead as she stirred, “We need to get packing so we can go back to the apartment.” Nancy grunted some reply before turning her back to him, he smiled and slightly limped to the bathroom. 

Flicking the lights on he stared at his body, toned and muscular. Perfectly fit for a five time world champion, pale skin and silver hair, and a perfect swirl of purple lining his chest and torso. Her attack had left him with hand prints of purple and big splotches of them around his chest, they matched perfectly with his hip where he had been kicked, his shoulder when he had hit the wall and the claw marks in his upper arm. He stripped from his pants and could see the rest of the damage.

His thighs with the circular burns, the bruises from her or the unforgiving ice. More claw marks from her nails, his eyes traced them once more. Then again, for a reason unknown to him he didn’t want to see his face. His silver hair that Nancy says he should dye, his too sharp features that Nancy says he should get plastic surgery for as well as his heart shaped lips. It was too childish, to ugly for anyone. Lastly his eyes.

He likes them.

They look like his grandmothers, sure he got them from his mom and her from her mother. However his looked like hers, small pools of tropical water. They were bright and streaked with sapphires, when ever he saw them he was reminded of the one other person who loved him besides Nancy. 

_When ever he would go to visit she’d always comment on those eyes, “There's the eyes I know and love.” was her favorite way of teasing him._

_He’d hug her, “You just like them because they are yours.”_

_He would then sit on her bed with her and tell her about his adventures, show her his silver and gold metals and that one bronze. He’d tell about the way it felt when he made that winning jump or the feeling of the wind as he tore into a spin, he loved the way she lit up with his stories._

_She’d turn away as a nurse came in and then when her attention was his again she would smile, a genuine smile, “There's the eyes I know and love.”_

_He’d smile and hug her again._

He had to meet his eyes, for his grandmother. He skimmed up the bruises again, the one hickey on his neck. The scratches on his face, they would be hard to cover up. His forehead and how like Nancy says, his hair is getting thinner and his forehead bigger. Then he finally met them. They were red, puffy with the tears he didn’t know he had shed last night. The blue seemed so much dimmer now, it hurt him to see the light starting to leave. He wanted to hold on to that bit of his grandmother with him, but all things must come to an end and so should the light.

How long he stared at them he doesn't know, it isn’t until Nancy wrapped her arms around him. She laid her head on his back, her hair soft to the bruises there as well. That he snapped back to reality.

“I’m sorry about last night.”

“Its okay honey, I understand.”

“Victor.”

“Yes honey.”

“Why do you make me hurt you?”

He would rather not have this conversation while naked.

“I don’t know why.”

“You deserve it you know.”

He stares at those eyes again.

“I know.”

***

He’s criticizing Yuri on his step sequences, the young boy grumbling and not fully listening to him. Nancy is a head them them as the team meets together before they make there way to the airport. It hurts to walk but he suppresses the limp, the concealer and foundation hold strong enough to mask the scratches. He just has to get back to the apartment before anyone can question them.

He feels eyes on him and meets gold.

Gold shinier than the one in his luggage, gold brighter than the sun and what is dug up from the earth. He tries to come up with anything to say to that man, but he’s frozen. That is until he can think of only one thing.

“A commemorative photo? Sure.” he puts on his best smile, the one saved for people like him. Once he agrees to this he can feel the warmth of him pressed against him again, that feeling that he still can’t figure out but all he knows is that Yuuri makes him feel that way. If they get a photo together it could give him the opportunity to get his number, Nancy wouldn’t like it but he could pass it on to Yuri or Chris to keep it safe for him.

His heartbeat picks up in excitement but then drops, he turned cold as those pair of golden eyes turn away from his and the man who gave him that warmth turned away too.

“See Vitya,” Nancy was whispering in his ear, “No one will ever love you but me. You’re weak and pathetic and even a disgraceful disappointment can see that as well.”

He held back tears as Yuuri walked away. 

Unknowing to him, little Yuri had noticed.

** A year later *** 

“Makka!” he hugged his dog tight as she licked his face and wiggled in his arms, finally he was back with her. The season was over and he could rest easy for a while.

“Victor, take that mutt and put it away. We need to talk.” Nancy’s heels echoed throughout the apartment as she made her way to the living room. He sighed and held her closer to him, her wet nose ticked his ear.

“Come on Makka.” he grabbed her a treat from the small shelve they keep by the door, she jumped on him pawing for the treat. He laughed as she did it all the way to the guest room at the back of the apartment.

“I’ll be back.” he placed a kiss on her head before he gave her the treat, he shut the door and prepared himself. He didn’t know what he had done yet all he knew was that it was his fault. He found her smoking on the couch, the haze was starting to build in the apartment again. He had given up hating it, he had no right to tell her what she can and can’t do.

“Come here Vitya and give me your phone.” Nancy didn’t even look at him.

He made his way over slowly, sitting down on the stiff couch he handed slipped it into her palm. She typed in the pass code before looking at him.

“I saw that you took some photos,” he felt the blood rush from his face, he forgot about the monitoring app she installed.

“I-I did.”

Nancy was quiet as she flicked through the small number of photos, the silence was deafening to him. He wanted her to say something, yell, scream, hit him like he deserves.

“You sent them to Chris.”

“He wanted them.”

“Delete his number.”

“Nancy-”

“Delete it!”

With a shaky hand he took the phone, he stared at the picture Chris at sent of them after he had sent the banquet photos. Tears brimmed to his eyes as he deleted his contact, however he knew the drill with this, before he did he typed out the message he did to everyone else.

_“Chris, I am deleting your number. Never contact me again.”_

He watched as the contact left his phone, smiling photo of the two gone. 

“Now delete the photos.”

His breath caught he didn’t want too, he look at those on nights when she was gone. When he was on break, “Okay.”

He stared at them, how happy Yuuri looked as he danced. The few photos he got of them together, he shook as he pressed delete with everyone. Until he reached a photo of Nancy and him, she looked happy and sweet. He had paparazzi smile number three on.

A noise tore itself from his lips, a drop of water hit his phone sliding down his face.

“Are you actually crying,” Nancy’s voice sounded numb, like it did that night of the banquet. “Why the hell are you crying Nikiforov?”

“I-I don’t know.” why why was he crying and why couldn’t he stop it, he covered his mouth in a lame attempt to stop it.

“Pathetic.” she took another drag of the cigarette, “Look at that photo, that's the only one you should have. That is the only one that should make you sad to loose. You are a pathetic man, weak and selfish.”

“I know I am, I don’t deserve you.” another sob.

“That's right so stop this petty crying.”

“I-I’m trying Nancy.” he couldn’t stop it, the sobs escaped him. His heart hurt and so did his chest, he couldn’t catch his breath and he honest to god thought he might be dying.

“You cheated on me didn’t you.”

He froze, “No NO I didn’t! I never could!”

Nancy flung the ashes at him, “I bet you did, sucked him off right there. A disgusting act, I bet you couldn’t wait to take it.”

“Nancy please!” the sobbing got worst, it hurt, god it really hurt.

“No you dirty whore! You say you are attracted to both genders but I bet you just like the take it up the ass. You don’t love me, and that means all of this, I have done for you means nothing to you!”

Makka’s whining could be heard now, this was the worst part. His sweet dog, the one who has been with him since he was sixteen was scared. She wanted his love and he wanted hers, but he couldn’t go to her. Not right now.

“I have never taken your love for granted, I know that only you love me and that no one else does and that everything you do is out of love.” damn it he needs to stop crying, he gripped his forearms. The pain of the bruises kept him grounded.

“I think you are a lying bitch, and when you do this I can’t help but be angry. You deserve this and have done this to yourself.” In a flash Nancy’s cigarette met his thigh and burned through the fabric, he flinched back from the pain, it hit him again and he freely let the tears flow.

“Why do you make me hurt you Victor, why do you keep being a cheating whore, why do you think you like men. You disgusting pig.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” he repeated over and over again as he clutched his thigh, the little burn marks stung worst than last time.

Nancy took another drag at the cigarette, calm and nonchalant this time. “No I don’t think you are. Stay here.”

She threw the still lit cigarette into the ashtray before she moved to the kitchen, the shuffling could be heard as she opened draws and shifted through the baking supplies. All the while Victor sat, hands gripping his thigh still as tears dripped onto it.

“Go get one.” Nancy had returned with the meat tenderizer.

“Please, don’t. I have only three left.”

A backhanded slap and then Nancy grabbed the collar of his shirt, “Go get it.” she hissed through her teeth.

His legs shook as he stood, vision blurry with tears as he slowly made his way to the bedroom. He hit the hallway walls on the way, he passed the guest room where Makka barked and whined. She clawed at the door, begging to see him. “I'm so sorry Makka.” he whispered before he entered the bedroom. 

It was dark and cold as he shuffled to the closet, he flicked on the light and stared for a bit. He stared at the small gathering of his clothes and the rest of Nancy’s, he stared at the box that held his precious items. With shaking hands he pulled the brown shoe box down from its place. He lifted the lid to reveal a small teapot, three small tea cups and separate bags of broken ones. He lifted one out, he’d have two more left after this.

It was a set his grandmother had given to him, he held it in this hands. Cradling it as he walked down the hallway. They use to play tea party together, even when he was twenty-three. He entered the living room, there Nancy stood. Lit cigarette in hand a meat tenderizer in the other one.

“Ples-”

“Put it down Victor.” 

He had no choice, he shuffled to the small coffee table. He held it closer to his chest, giving it a small squeeze. He pulled it away and stared at it, one of the last few tea cups. The blue roses decorated the tea cup, they were her favorite and now it was his. He remembered the small parties they’d had, they’d laugh as they put on the silly little hats and pretended they were snobby royals. Even the nurses would join in the fun sometimes.

“Victor.”

With that he set the small cup down, it shined in the light.

“You did this, you deserve this.” it shattered as the meat tenderizer hit it, small bits flew onto the floor. He sank to his knees and started where it once was, she chucked the mallet onto the coffee table. 

He just stared, numb. He flinched away when she grabbed the collar of his t-shirt, he grabbed at her wrist as she shook him, “Say it Victor! What are you?”

“I’m pathetic.” no tears built up in his eyes now, they were gone. A hollow feeling resided in his chest now.

“Louder Victor Nikiforov, what are you! Who do you belong to!”

“You Nancy! I only belong to you! I am a pathetic mess, I am so lucky you fell in love with me! That you show me love at all!”

“That is right Nikiforov!” She threw him to the floor his head smacking against the wood, he saw stars but thankfully not enough for it to a concussion this time.

“Clean this mess up.” she snarled at him before making her way to the kitchen once again, leaving him to sweep the tiny bits of the tea cup into his hands. He pocketed his phone, all the while he could hear the muddled swears of her from where he was. Shaking he cupped his hands carefully around the glass and made his way to the bed room.

He didn’t bother with the lights the closet light was still on, the box still open. Carefully tipped the shards into a plastic baggie he had in the box, he zipped it up placed it and the box in its rightful place. Next was to get Makkachin, his movements were robotic and slow he felt out of his body. He opened the door and was immediately pounced on by Makka, a small laugh flowed from his lips as he held her close to himself. She whined and licked the salty tear tracks from his face.

“I’m so sorry my beautiful girl, I must have scared you.” he kissed her head and she ‘boofed’ before attacking him with kisses once more. He slowly scratched behind her ears as he pulled out his phone, he absent mindedly scrolled his social media. He liked a post from Chris, his friend placing a kiss on his boyfriend's cheek. They both had goofy grins and happy eyes. 

He longed to call his best friend right now, all he wanted to hear was his voice. Telling him about his boyfriend or another crazy fan, or even about his sex life. Anything would do right now, but he couldn’t. Nancy said they couldn’t be friends anymore, he’d lied to her and this was the price. He destroyed another friendship with his lies, but it shouldn’t hurt. After all only Nancy loves him. 

Nancy who was clearly getting drunk in the kitchen, a lightweight who would make Victor laugh at her drunk antics. His favorite was then she kissed him on the cheek, telling him how happy she was. It was a little thing but her right there, drunk and blushing at her confession stuck with him. 

He scrolled through Chris’s account, this was his private one. Where he could post pictures of himself and his family to only his closest friends and family, he saw the selfie once more. The two smiling back at him, he scrolled and found another. This one for a ‘Throwback Thursday’, it was him and Chris at the festival. Victors hair was still long then, it was braided and draped over his shoulder. Chris didn’t have his two toned hair yet but he did have the stubble on his face. 

They were happy, hugging each other as they enjoyed their last day together. He remembers the man who took the photo, the wink he threw a Chris before they left. How they both laughed till they cried because anything was funny to them at that time.

Makkachin noseed his face again, licking at the stray tear that fell from his eye. He scratched her once more before shutting his phone off.

“Victor!” Nancy was drunk, Makkachin whined.

“Shh, it's okay girl stay here I’ll be right back.” Makka pawed at Victor but stayed where she was told, laying her head down she looked terribly sad.

“Yes honey.” he emerged from the hallway.

“You fucking cunt.” she had her phone in hand and an empty alcohol bottle in the other one, Victor flinched back his phone gripped tight in his hand.

“What have I done to hurt you?” His voice was quiet, he started to shake more as he stared at anything but her.

“You were looking at Chris’s photos, I thought,” she stumbled, her speech slurred, “I thought we established he was cut out. Gone, yet here you are looking at his photos. Are you lusting over him huh?! You dirty whore! Whoring yourself out to any man that you see fit!” 

He flinched away with every word waiting for the inevitable punch, “I would never whore myself out. I belong to you and only you.” the words fell from his lips automatically.

“That is fucking right. You’re lucky I am still with you Victor, seeing as how you ex is a better man than you.”

That stung, he felt hollow now the only thing he could think of at the moment was the way her feet stumbled as she tried to stand still. “I should just go back to him now! Warm his bed tonight!”

“Please, Please don’t Nancy! You- You promised me!” Victor met her eyes, gray dark and glazed over. They burned holes into his.

“You are replaceable Victor, I never break promises yet you do! You weren’t supposed to pay attention to that Japanese bastard again, You weren’t supposed to think about Chris again!” Nancy was crying now, she never was a pretty crier. Her face would turn splotchy and red, tears and snot streaked streaking down her face.

“I never-”

“Shut up!” she swung her arm, the bottle slipped and headed towards him. He moved just in time for it to smash in the entrance to the hallway, it was quiet for a moment.

Before they could say anything else a figure darted into his vision, “Makka no!” she didn’t see the glass, she saw her owner, her friend sad and she needed to comfort him. He moved to grab her to stop her instead he got there too late, her front paw met glass and she cried out. He grabbed her in time to stop her other paw but forgot about his own feet, with a cry both landed on the other side of the glass.

He stared at his left foot, the shards of glass embedded in it. The blood that slid down his foot, he couldn’t feel it. It felt numb. He didn’t like the feeling.

“Way to go you fuck up! She stumbled to the other side of the mess, “You can deal with this yourself, I’m going to bed.” she stumbled over the glass miraculously not getting any glass in her feet. The door to the guest bedroom slammed behind him and he was plunged into silence.  
A pained whine broke it. It threw him in to action, he carefully swiped a small path away of glass away. He didn’t even try to stand on his foot, he knew he couldn’t so he crawled. His injured foot dragged behind him, Makka whined from behind him once more. 

“Its okay girl.” he whispered as he spotted his phone lying on the floor where he had unknowingly dropped it. Grabbing it he pulled himself to sit up, quickly called the last number in his contact. It rang loud in his ear as he surveyed the damage, Makkachin past the minefield of glass her paw raised in the air.

“Vitya.” 

“Yakov, I need your help.”

“What happened this time Vitya?” he could hear voices in the background, shit he had forgotten that practice was still going on.

“I-I can’t bug you with this, you’re busy and I-”

“Spit it out Vitya.”

Victor flinched away from the phone, “Makka and I both have glass in our foot.”

Silence on the other line, he knew this was dumb. He shouldn’t have called him.

“Georgi and I will be at your apartment in twenty.” Yakov gave no room for an answer as he just hung up.

With the line dead he let his phone slip through his hand, it landed with a thud on the floor. He stared at the wall passed Makkachin. How could he have messed up so bad, now he has disrupted Yakov's and Giorgis time. He stared at that wall till the sound of voices reaches his door, the lock clicks open and the two men enter the apartment.

He looks away, he can’t believe he messed up so bad. He can’t see there pitiful looks as they look at the pitiful sight of him. Him sitting next to glass with a small pool of blood at his foot.

“I’ll grab the dog, Georgi help Victor.” no hellos were needed.

He still didn’t meet their eyes when Georgi moved to his side, or when he hosted him up carrying him bridal style. He just wrapped his arms around the mans shoulders and let silent tears escape him.

Not when they moved him into the car or when Makkachin left with Georgi to the vet.

“I’ll keep her safe.” Georgi squeezed his shoulder and Victor repressed a flinch.

He didn’t when Yakov helped him slowly limp to the emergency room.

“Sit here Vitya I’ll move the car and then sign you in.” Yakov placed him in a still chair before leaving. A man and his little daughter sat across from him and he avoided looking at them. He tried to hide the blood from the little girl, she didn’t need to really see that damage.

“Daddy that's him.” she ‘whispered’

“Who?” he whispered back.

“Victor Nikiforov.” she couldn’t quite pronounce his last name.

Her jacket was a miniature version of his team Russia one, he could now see that his name printed on the back as she talked to her dad.

“I love your jacket.” he finally spoke to her, she paused and turned to him. Her eyes lit up.

“It's just like yours!” 

He laughed, “It is! However I think yours is better.”

She giggled, “I saw you at the final, my mommy took me to see you! You looked so pretty in your pink outfit.”

“Why thank you! Say do you want an autograph?”

The little girl jumped up and down, “Yes Yes!” he turned to the dad who smiled at her enthusiasm, he pulled a pen out from the purse next to him as well as a small piece of paper. The little girl handed it to him in which he placed it on his thigh and signed it.

“There we go!” he handed it back to her.

She smiled big but then it dropped when she saw his thigh, “Ow.” she pointed to the circle marks on his thigh, “What happened?”

Victor paused, “Makkachin tore my jeans while playing that silly girl, what really hurts is my foot.” 

She seemed skeptical but quickly took the bait of his foot, “What happened?” she asked again.

“I wasn’t safe when I dropped my glass on the floor and accidently stepped on it.” 

Her eyes grew big, “Daddy always says to get him when that happens, why didn’t you get your daddy?”

His heart dropped, “I don’t live with my dad.”

“Oh, well you should have been more careful.”

“You’re right,” he let out a small laugh, “I will be more careful next time.”

“Promise?” he stopped as the little girl held his gaze.

“I pinky promise,” he held out his pinky and her small one wrapped around his.

“Vitya.” they both turned to see Yakov and a nurse waiting for him, he nodded and turned back to the little girl.

“Hey what's your name?”

“Sofia!”

“Well Sofia thank you for talking to me but I have to go get my foot fixed.”

They started to help him into the wheelchair, before they could get him to sit down she hugged him. He was stunned for a second but quickly put his clean hand around her small shoulders.

“Be smarter around glass, thank you Victor.” and with that she ran back to her father.

*** 

With his foot wrapped up and some pain meds in his system he felt better, he’d have crutches for a few weeks so his foot could heal some more before he could at least limp on it.

“Now, Mr. Nikiforov. Would you like for Mr. Feltsmen to be in the room when I ask this next question?”

He paused and Yakov unfolded his arms, “I ah,” he looked to Yakov for what he should do.

“It’s your decision Vitya.”

“Is- is okay that you leave?” he couldn’t look at his coach.

“Of course.” he stood, and went to pat him on the shoulder but paused when Victor unconsciously flinched. He dropped his hand and nodded to the doctor.

The door shut behind Yakov and he was alone with the man.

“Mr. Nikiforov I noticed the cigarette burns on your thigh, and the way you flinch away has concerned me.”

Victor has been through this many times before, “How so doctor?”

“Mr. Nikiforov let me be frank, are you in a abusive relationship?”

There it was, the question everyone asked, “No I am not.” he believed it because after all he wasn’t, that was just how she showed her love and that was how relationships worked. The man clapped and Victor anticipated a hit.

“Mr. Nikiforov, are you sure.”

Victor swallowed and lowered his arm, “I am sure.”

The doctor stared at him, “I will prescribe to you tylenol and by no means are you to be skating on that foot until it heals.”

His heart dropped, “Yes.”

He opened the door letting Yakov back in before explaining what he had just said to him as well, Yakov nodded back and then handed Victor the crutches the hospital supplied to them. Hobbling out of that hospital was hard for him, he felt shameful as he passed by the people in the lobby. The little girl was gone which for some reason made him feel sadder.

“We’ll go pick up your dog and Georgi and I you get back to your apartment, I bet Nancy is just on the edge of her seat waiting for you.” the last part was bitter, funny enough he had never mentioned her until that moment.

He stayed silent when they picked up Georgi and Makka, “The doctor said to clean the area once a day and to not let her get it wet, and if there is anything wrong with it to bring her back in immediately.”

He nodded at Georgi’s words before he slipped back in to that numb feeling again. The lights of the city flashed by, the music of the different clubs littered the streets as they made there way back to the apartment. Makkachin was silent in the back, still a little bit out of it from the pain medication.

This time Georgi carried Makkachin as Yakov helped open doors, the journey to the apartment was filled with tension. At least it was to Victor, he knew they were going to ask questions or give him the look. The one that looks like they want to say something but instead they choose silence, like they see something wrong but don’t want to bother. That one hurts more than the pitiful ones.

Yakov enters the apartment first, then Georgi. They still don’t talk as Georgi lays Makkachin on couch or when Yakov goes to get the broom, he doesn’t pay attention when his phone starts to buzz in his pocket.

He watched as Yakov cleaned up the glass and Georgi eyeing the meat tenderizer on the coffee table, it isn’t until they have everything cleaned up that he speaks.

“Thank you.” his voice was harsh.

“Of course Victor, we’d do anything for you.” Georgi sounded sincere but his gazed seemed pitting to Victor.

“For once I agree with drama queen number two over here.” Yakov nodded his head at Georgi, his tone with rough and his gaze was full of anger to Victor.

“Thank you guys again.”

They both nodded, “Do you need anything before we leave?” Victor just wanted them to leave, he felt bad. They both had helped him and deserved better than what he was giving them.

“I’m fine, I’ll wait for Nancy to get home.”

The two sighed, defeated in there efforts to help they gave a goodbye and left. The apartment was once again silent, he hobbled over to the stiff couch. It took a bit of maneuvering but he was finally able to lay on it, Makka on his torso and his foot stretched out in front of him. His finally pulled his phone out which hadn’t stopped buzzing since it began.

He freed it from his pocket and then turned it on, the home screen was social media notifications galore. Opening the phone he saw a dozen texts from numbers he had to delete out of his phone. All of them linking him to one video. The last text was from Chris, the last message he sent still up. The message from Chris simply read,

_“Go to him.”_

It linked him to a video, clicking the link opened the video see Yuuri Katsuki, he began to skate. He recognized it, he had just won gold with that routine, ‘Stammi Vicino’. Tears spilled past his eyes, Makka whine and snuggled closer to him. There was no music but the music Yuuri’s body displayed drowned out what was going on. He moved like he was music himself, just like at the banquet. The jumps were downgraded but they still left him on the edge of his seat, he looked so sad to Victor. 

He reminded him of the sadness he’s seen on someone before, who he doesn’t know.

Victor watched it again and again, Chris’s message ringing loud in his ears. His last cry to Yuuri before Nancy pulled him out of the room.

_“You won Yuuri!”_

_“Be my coach, Victor!”_

“Makka. Lets go to Japan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well chapter two is now up after like four hours... my friend said to wait and be mean by leaving you guys at the edge of your seat, but I feel like what happen in this chapter was enough. 
> 
> I just want to thank you guys for the lovely comments they've brought me to tears as they mean so much to me! I hope you liked this chapter, thank you so much for reading!
> 
> My tumblr is @sassy-potato-of-wonder come yell at me on there.


	3. Won't you help me sober up? Growing up, it made me numb (And I wanna feel something again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor arrives in Japan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Abuse in a flashback

It was cold, his coat he grabbed wasn’t warm enough and he couldn’t wrap his arms around himself with his crutches. So far it seems like the beanie and the face mask have hidden his identity. Makkachin gave a small boof and he smiled down at her, the poor girl was limping on her foot. Hardly touching it down, all he wanted to do was wrap her up in his arms and carry his baby girl. As they made there way to there gate they got judgmental stares and ones of concern, he prayed no one would stop them. He could see there gate up ahead, number three, headed for Japan. 

Time passed faster than he thought, he arrived just in time for the people who needed assistance to board. After is recent accident he was at least thankful that this was an only good to come out of it, he’d get on the plane sooner and be one step closer to Yuuri. He was lucky this was an unpopular flight at the time and with it being at one in the morning it made it easy for Victor to buy a first class ticket. He was able to have Makkachin with him at his feet, having her registered as a support animal when he was eighteen was another great decision of his.

A kind man helped him on to the plane, with Victors permission he had lifted Makkachin for him. The old dog licked the mans cheek which made them both laugh, once settled in the seat he started to realize what he was doing. He was betraying the only one who loved him, to fly to a man who had captivated him for a span of hours. Who had turned away from him like he was nothing, granted he had said he’d wanted Victor to be his coach but now he wasn’t so sure. What if Yuuri turns him away, could Nancy still accept him?

She would be furious. She was last time. Why did he think this was a good idea? He gripped his forearms hard, his fingers digging into his skin matching the rest of the bruising there. He was impulsive, everyone knew that. Nancy didn’t like it so he would hold back on everything he couldn’t risk him doing something impulsive, she wouldn’t like it so he shouldn’t he. 

The last time he did something like this a glass bottle had hit him in the back, he hasn’t done something like this since. He hadn’t tried to surprise her with a trip to New York again, or buy her something she saw window shopping, even chocolates were out of the question. She didn’t like surprises and so shouldn’t he, so why was he now doing this. Why couldn’t he follow what Nancy says and stay with her, she’d have a hangover tomorrow and he should be there for her.

By now the plane was full and lurching as it builds up speed on the track, Victor didn’t notice he only noticed the way his chest hurt. The pain meds wearing off and the sting of the stitches in his foot, how the seat in front of him had a soft grey tone. The plane settled now, Victor was leaving Russia. Leaving his lover and his team behind, and Victor regretted it.

*** 

Everything was unfamiliar, bright and loud. The language was softer than his Russian and was everywhere, the signs were unreadable except for the ones written in English. While it wasn’t it first English was his second and slightly calmed him, he recognized that.

Now all he had to do was find his way to the front desk or where ever and buy a ticket back to Russia, this was an idiotic and selfish thing to have done to Nancy. He abandoned his lover when she needed him and instead went after someone who will never love him. Never want him. He was riding down the escalator with Makka in tow, so far no one had noticed who his was and he wanted it to stay that way. If he can write it off to Nancy that he was in the emergency room for awhile maybe that would soften the hurt he had caused her. He shook his head to himself, no that wouldn’t work.

He would just buy the ticket and then go back, he’d take his punishment. He had everything planned out, what he would say, what he would do but that stopped when he got off the escalator. All around was Yuuri’s face, what looked like posters cheering him on littered the walls of the airport.

He looked so confident, so happy to Victor. It reminded him of that night, staring at the photo more he could still hear Yuuri loud and clear,

_“If I win this dance off.... You’ll become my coach, right.”_

_”You won Yuuri!”_

_”Be my coach Victor!”_

_”Go to him.”_

Yuuri wanted him to be his coach and now with his skating taken away for awhile he has nothing, his lover will leave him and his best friend is gone. All he has is Chris’s parting words and the small things he’s brought with him. He can’t leave, he can’t give up his chance to see Yuuri again. He may be betraying his lover but for once he has to do something, when him and Nancy meet again he’ll take his punishment for choosing Yuuri.

*** 

Finding the inn was more of a hassle then he thought it would be, the driver spoke little English and he forgot to check what hot springs it was. He finally got to the inn by showing the driver a picture of Yuuri, he didn’t know how much to pay the man when he arrived so he chucked some bills at him and hoped it was enough. By the smile the man gave him he would say that was a yes.

He stood outside the Inn, it was beautiful. It looked warm and inviting and the small amount of snow outside made it look even warmer, as he approached the entrance he could hear the sounds of people talking and the clacking of plates. He was able to awkwardly open the door and was hit was the smell of homemade cooking and old wood, it was a little overwhelming for him. 

An older women approached him, she was plump and looked oddly like Yuuri, she spoke a greeting to him but he didn’t understand. 

“English?” 

“Oh of course dear, Welcome to Yu-topia Katsuki. How can I help you dear?” 

The women was sweet and instantly reminded Victor of his grandmother, “I was actually looking Katsuki Yuuri, is he here?” 

“Oh my Yuuri? He’s outside at the moment, you must be hungry and tired. How about a soak in the onsene and then some food.” she didn’t give any room as she grabbed his forearm slightly nudging him along. They moved past the guests and into a quieter area of the inn, this he felt was a good time as any to drop the mask. 

He pulled the face mask down and took the beanie off and the women stopped, “I-I’m sorry,” he couldn’t meet the womens eyes, “I cannot let others see me and well I can’t soak in a bath.” 

“Its okay Mr. Nikiforov, Yuuri talks about you all the time about, let's get you some food instead then.” he was worried, she knew who his was and could easily tell anyone. Yet when looking at her. She had a smile that looked just like Yuuri’s, warm and kind. He was lead further into the in, he didn’t know what the signs said but he could assume that this is where the guests don’t normally come. He was lead to a small dining room, there was a window to look out to the garden of the inn and small family photos littered on the walls. 

“Sit and I will be right back.” 

He lowered himself to the table, his hurt foot was stretched to the side of him and Makkachin rested her head on his thigh. Snow still fell from the sky, big flakes that drifted slowly in the breeze. He couldn’t help but be reminded off the Russian snow, coming here and having it be kind of like how he left Russia softens the blow. 

He sighed and turned back to the table, he didn’t know what to do. Normally he would scroll through his social media or play with Makkachin, but with both of them tired the last option was out. He pulled the phone out of his backpack, he’d switched it off after he showed the cabbie a picture of Yuuri. He knew that if he turned the phone on again she could find him, why was he so scared of his lover finding him? 

His thoughts circled back to how much of a mistake this was, he keeps having opportunities to leave. To go back to his lover, but he won’t and he doesn’t understand why. Why can’t he be the perfect lover for Nancy, why can’t he go with the plastic surgery she says he should get. Why can’t he dye his ugly silver hair or be better for Nancy. 

He puts his head in his hands, this was too much, too much. He needs to go back, he needs to apologize to Nancy. Even if the punishment is like when he tried to leave the first time. 

_They were six months into their relationship when Nancy first hit him, sure he’d smacked him playfully before but this wasn’t like that._

 

_”You slept with him!” Victor had felt betrayed, tears welled up in his eyes._

 

_”Yes I did, it was a moment of weakness Victor!”_

 

_”You slept with Brett! My ex Nancy, my ex!”_

 

_”We were drinking and it just happened!”_

 

_”Oh so that makes it better? You just were drinking and he mistakenly put his dick in your vagina!” the tears were threatening to fall now._

 

_”It was a mistake and I won’t repeat it again!”_

 

_”Damn right you won’t, I’m leaving Nancy! You betrayed my trust!” he brushed past her to the front door when his head snapped back, her hand was full of his hair and her other hand hit his face. Pain in both his head and cheek sent the tears spilling down his face._

 

_”You listen to me Nikiforov, okay I will be the one to leave this relationship. I said it was a mistake and you will accept my apology,” her tone was harsh, it was one he had never heard before. It sent chills of fear down his spine._

 

_”No Nancy, I am leaving.”_

_One moment she had a grip on his hair and then in the next his head was bouncing off the door frame, it felt like someone had ran over his head with a car. It made him feel nauseous and tired._

__

_”You are mine Victor Nikiforov, no one loves you but me and if you tell anyone they will ignore it. This is what love looks like Victor.” she yanked once more for good measure and then left._

__

_He had stumbled to practice, when Yakov saw the blood from the cut on his head and the unfocused eyes of his skater. He drove him to the hospital where he got stitches for the first time as well as a concussion, he had to take off skating for two weeks and missed his chance to take gold._

__

A hand was placed on his back, “Don’t hurt me!” he jumped away from the hand. 

__

“Are you alright dear?” the women placed a bowl of what looked like soup in front of him, “I didn’t understand what you said.” 

__

Victor had spoken in Russian, thank god. “I was just surprised, forgive me for shouting.” he bowed his head slightly. 

__

“No worries dear, now eat up then I say you should sleep.” she gave a small pat on his back before leaving, 

__

He hadn’t realized how tired he was, nor how hungry as well. He dug in, the soup was light and perfect. After not eating for awhile Victor’s stomach will revolt against anything too strong. He’s half way through his meal when the door burst open, he finches back ready to defend himself but instead of Nancy behind that door. It's Yuuri. 

__

“Vic-Victor what are you doing here?” the boy was pale, his hair covered in melting snow. 

__

Shit Victor was terrified, he put on his best smile gracefully swung his arm out, “Hello Yuuri! Starting today I am going to be your coach, you are going to get to the grand pre-finial and you are going to win.” He winked. 

__

Yuuri stood still for a heartbeat then a confused yell slipped past his lips. 

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, two chapters in one day and it was posted yesterday.... don't get use to it. I had chapters one through three already written out and since I am weak I posted them all. 
> 
> Your guys comments have meant the world to me and legit made my week!
> 
> Come yell at me on my tumblr @sassy-potato-of-wonder


	4. You couldn't escape it, yeah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor has to face his actions

Its been a whirl wind of a day, and Victor can’t sleep. He’s been awake since lord knows when, he hugged Makkachin closer to him. He’s sleeping on a small mat on the floor, he can’t remember what Yuuri called it. All he can think about is the fact that they had hardly any room and he was taking up room in there home, he was being a bother and it didn’t help he called Yuuri a pig! Sure it was out of a joking matter but the look on his face made him regret it, how stupid could he be!

He flipped over in a huff too quick and was reminded of his injury when a ripple of pain shot from his foot up his leg. He let out a small cry of pain, fresh tears filled his eyes. 

“Shit.” he whispered to himself, Makkachin noticed her friends tears and quickly moved over to lick them as they fell, it caused a chuckle from Victor, “Thanks Makka.” satisfied with cheering up her friend she laid back down cuddling up to Victor, he wrapped his arms around her. 

“What am I doing Makka.” he whispered, his brain finally started to shut down. He couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer and he drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

***

He’d finally hobbled his way downstairs the ever faithful Makkachin taking the stairs one at a time for him. When he finally reached the dining room he was greeted by Yuuri and his sister, Mari.

“Good morning.” he nodded at the two as he slowly lowered himself down, he jumbled with the crutches a bit and silently cursed them in his head.

“Victor, did you tell anyone you were coming here?” Mari didn’t both with formalities, her tone and body langue screamed angry to Victor. 

He couldn’t decide if he should tell the truth or not, “I ah not really.” he studded out, his hands formed into tight fists. He was expecting a demand to leave.

Not a small, “Figures.” from Yuuri before a phone was slid towards him.

His blood ran cold.

**Nancy June (✿◠‿◠)**  
_@NancyKitty_

@bestbooty Is my darling Vitya with you?

**Christope Geogemetti**  
_@bestbooty_

@NancyKitty Last time I checked he didn’t follow me to Switzerland

**Nancy June (✿◠‿◠)**  
_@NancyKitty_

Has anyone seen my Vitya?

**Nancy June (✿◠‿◠)**  
_@NancyKitty_

I called the rink and he isn’t there please has anyone seen him?

**Nancy June (✿◠‿◠)**  
_@NancyKitty_

The police are helping, thank you for your wonderful tips sent to my twitter. Please direct your tips to the police hot line, XXX-XXX-XXXX

**Nancy June (✿◠‿◠)**  
_@NancyKitty_

Please my darling Vitya if you are able to see thing, please come home. I miss you and don’t know what I would do with out you, you are the light of my life honey.

**Nancy June (✿◠‿◠)**  
_@NancyKitty_

Vitya honey I miss you more than life its self, please please be safe. I love you my sweet.

 

“Have you told anyone?” Victor tried to control his shaking of his hands and voice, he slid the phone back to Yuuri.

“No we haven’t, thats something you need to do.” Yuuri refused to make eye contact with him and something in him hurts at that.

“But-”

“No room for buts, tell them or I will tell.” Mari glared at him and he flinched back, she was loud. Angry.

“Mari!” Yuuri raised his voice and he felt himself flinch back even more, “You can’t do that!” the two were fighting and it was all his fault, he needed to fix this. He couldn’t have there relationship ruined because of his selfish decisions.

“Guys, I’ll call. Just don’t fight, its my fault I’m sorry.” he lowered his head causing him to miss the side eye stare that the siblings gave to each other.

“We we were not fighting Victor,” Mari fished her cigarettes out of her pocket, “Call someone and tell them.” Poping one in her mouth she left the two boys.

“I will leave you some space.” Yuuri started to get up.

“Wait Yuuri,” Victor swallowed, “Is it okay if I use your phone? Mine is dead.” god he felt bad for doing this.

“Of course,” Yuuri tapped away at his phone before he handed it to Victor, “I will be in the kitchen, just call my name when you get done.” Victor nodded and watched as Yuuri headed down the short hall way to the kitchen. 

He stared at the phone for what seemed like hours, but in reality was a few minutes. He couldn’t decided who to call, he still couldn’t figure out why he didn’t want Nancy to know. He loves her and he knows he should call her, but he calls someone else instead.

“Bonjor?” the voice is muffled and barley awake.

“Chris?”

“Victor!” he yanked the phone away from his ear as his friend, or well his ex friend now yells. He can hear another shout as well, he carefully put it back to his ear to catch the muffled voices. 

“Victor, you’re on speaker, Roman is here.” Romen gave his hellos.

“I woke you guys up didn’t I.” he felt guilty, he should’ve just called Yakov instead of them, he ruined both of their friendships and now he’s waking them up. “I’m sorry, I’ll- I won’t call back again.” 

“No No NO!” the two on the other line screamed before he could press end call, “Cheri no, we’re glad you woke us up!” Chris was quick to add, “Plus its not like we’re use to not getting enough sleep.” he smiled. There was the flirty Chris he knows and loves.

“Müsli!” Roman shouted which made Victor laugh a bit.

“Ignoring Chris, are you safe Victor?” Romans voice was softer this time, god he missed them both.

“I-I am.” Makkachin moved over to flop her head into his lap, he smiled at her and stroked her head.

There was a sigh of relief, “Where are you Cheri?” He felt his throat tighten as the care in Chris’s voice stuck him, it reminded him of the countless nights where he comforted him. From a fight he experienced at school to the death of his grandmother, he was always there and always used that tone of voice.

“I went to him.” he could feel tears threatening to build up in his eyes again as he looked down the small hallway to the kitchen, he could see Yuuri sitting at the kitchen bar. He was laughing at what someone had said, it looked like he was helping the family prep food for the guests. A thought passed through his head about how beautiful he was, how much he wanted him to hug him again, but he stopped himself. He thought of Nancy instead. 

“I assumed so, I’m glad.” Chris sounded like he relaxed more, he wiped a tear that fell from his eye and took in a shaky breath.

“Victor if its not to much to ask,” Roman hesitated, “why didn’t you tell Nancy? Or anyone?”

He felt the guilt constrict his lungs, he should’ve told them. He knows he should’ve. He let them down he was a selfish basterd.

“I-I don’t know.” Makka whined when his hand stopped petting her head.

“Okay? Is it because you didn’t want us to know?”

He hesetated to speak.

“You can tell us anything Victor, we won’t judge or be upset.” He wish he could hear Chris in person, he knew by now that if he were here. He’d be rubbing his back, a ghosting of that feeling moved up and down his back.

“I ended our friendship.” Makka pawed at his hand, and he started to pet her again.

“No never, you’re stuck with us Cheri. Now Victor, please tell us.” Victor didn’t believe Chris, he ended their friendship. There was no way he could and would ever accept him back, however just this once. He let himself believe that someone wouldn’t ever want to get rid of him.

“I called you guys so i guess I really don’t care if you don’t know.” he trailed off.

“Was it Yakov?” Roman asked.

He thought for a moment, “No, Yakov is gruff and an angry man. However he is a big softie.”

“Fans?” Roman seemed to be taking the lead with the line of questioning.

“They are great but over bearing, they’d find me and I don’t want that.” he hoped they’d leave it at that.

 _Why though? Why do I want them too?_ he thought to himself.

“Victor… is Nancy a part of this.” 

Shit, he drew in a deep breath. “I-I uh, I-” he could only udder that out, he didn’t know what to say or what to do. He could feel his chest tighten and the rooms light slowly started to become to much. Too bright.

“Victor, you don’t have to explain, just a yes or a no.” Roman always was the best one to get him to talk, damn that boy knew what to say all the time.

“Yes.” He didn’t hesitate, his voice was shaky but he said it.

“Okay, Victor we think you should call Yakov. Just tell him you’re safe.” 

He picked a bit at Makkas fur, the light started to get easier to handle. His chest still tight but at the same time, a little lighter?

“I guess I should, he’s already lost enough hair as it is.” he gave them a small chuckle.

“Do that Victor, and before we let you go. Stay with that boy, I think it would be good for you.” Chris spoke.

This caused Victor to suck in a deep lung full of air, he looked to Yuuri again. He was still helping with prepping food, his gaze turned down. A small smile on his face. It was so soft, so calm. His whole person was to Victor and that was something that made Yuuri stand out to him.

“I-I will, thank you guys.”

“Cheri, please call us. When ever we don’t care. We will always be here for you.”

“I will.” he lied, he couldn’t. He’d broken off their friendship. This was the one time he would open up, this was the one time he’d pretend that he hadn’t done that. They said their goodbyes before Victor hung up. He powered the phone off, he looked down a Makka and scratched her behind the ears. He knew he should call Yakov soon, but he just couldn’t right now. It wasn’t the right place or time, he needed to think.

“Yuuri.” he called down to the hallway.

“Yes, Victor.” Yuuri’s shoulders turned stiff again and it pained him once more, what had he done? He had probably made him mad, he did show up uninvited and made Yuuri and his sister fight.

“I’m done,” Yuuri walked towards him, “Thank you.” he slipped the phone into Yuuri’s grasp, fingers brushing slightly.

“You’re welcome.” Yuuri nodded as he sat on the other side of the table.

A momentary silence passed before he spoke up, “Yuuri, where do you train?”

Yuuri jumped at bit at his comment, “I-ah at a local ice rink, why?” he softly smiled at how nervous Yuuri seemed.

“After breakfast I want to go see where I will be coaching you!” the ice rink would be the best place to phone Yakov.

***

The rink was small, smaller then Victor was use too. However it would still work for them.

“I made sure it was only Yukko here, she’s on of the owners. She has some avid fan-girls for daughters.” Yuuri rubbed the back of his head.

Victor gave him flirty smile number three, “Thank you Yuuri, now get on the ice and show me what you’ve got.” As Yuuri set out to do that, he limped over to the small section of wooden benches, when he leaned his crutches on the bench, they slipped and he just looked at them in distaste. 

“Show me your favorite routine Yuuri.” he folded his arms and leaned back, he watched as Yuuri began. He noticed just like in the videos he’s seen, Yuuri moves like he’s creating the music himself. However seeing it in person is more powerful then it ever was on is tiny phone screen. His footwork is impressive and stunning, his jumps. Well they were beautiful, but there was something holding the man back. He fell once and Victor cringed. 

Yuuri posed, finished and Victor clapped for him, “Beautiful Yuuri,” Yuuri skated towards him, “Your footwork is stunning, beautiful,” he pretended to not notice the blush that spread over Yuuri’s cheeks, “However, your jumps are shaky. That is where we need to practice the most.” Yuuri nodded and he continued.

“I-I’ve got to make a phone call Yuuri, do you want to start working on something?” he felt like an ass, he knew he had to make that call and couldn’t put it off more.

“I guess, do you need my phone again?”god Yuuri was so considerate, he was just going to limp to the front desk.

“If you are offering, yes.” he nodded and so did Yuuri, before he tossed the phone at him. He caught the phone, he gave Yuuri and wink before the man skated off.

He stared at the dial pad for what seemed like forever, he knew the had to call him. Hell he owed Yakov that much, one of his star skaters leaving him with no word. 

_Stop being weak and call him!_ he mentally yelled at himself.

He held the phone in his shaky hands, the grip on it became tighter. He needed to do this now, he quickly punched the numbers into the phone. He hit call before he could hesitate again.

“VTB Ice Palace, how may I help you?” the familar Russian flowed over the phone.

“Put me through to Yakov, Its Victor.”

The women paused and he worried for a second that she didn’t believe him, “Of course sir.” 

Gargled sounding music blasted in his ear as he was put on hold, he looked up at Yuuri. Instead of practicing he was just slowly drawing figure eights into the ice, he looked lost. So far off in his mind, Victor wanted to join him but he couldn’t. With his damn foot he couldn’t join Yuuri for a while, watching him Victor felt a longing for the ice. He hasn’t been off the ice this long since he was a child, and now he longed for it more then ever.

“Vitya!” Yakov’s shouting yanked him out of his thoughts.

“Hello Yakov.” his voice was smaller, weaker then he would have liked.

“Where are you?” he was still yelling, Yakov always yelled but there was his normal yell and then this one. It was saved only when he was concerned.

“I’m in Japan Yakov, I-I’m sorry but I left to coach Yuuri Katsuki.” he waited for the inevitable scolding he was about to get from Yakov, but the line stayed silent for a bit.

“Yak-”

“Why Vitya.” a chill ran up Victor’s spine, his voice was quieter. The voice he used with small children.

“I had to, I can’t explain it but I needed too,” he looked back to Yuuri, he looked more relaxed now, “He asked me to coach him.”

“Vitya you didn’t say anything to anyone, the police have been looking for you. Everyone at the rink has as well, you haven’t answered our phone calls. What is going on Vitya, you even left your girlfriend out of this.”

He flinched back at the guilt he felt, he deserved it. He had deserted everyone and his beautiful girlfriend. She didn’t deserve his pathetic ass.

“I don’t know Yakov.” he truly couldn’t find the answers, he racked his brain for some answer but found none.

“Are you coming back?” Yakov sighed, he could picture Yakov running his hand over his face. Something he does when he becomes stressed.

Watching Yuuri he spoke, “No, I’m sorry Yakov. Not until the season ends at least.”

The line was silent again, shit he had said the wrong thing. 

“You owe Yuri a routine.”

“What.” he was so confused, he just told his coach, one of his father figures that he wasn’t coming back. That he had abandoned him and this is what he brought up.

“I was there when you promised him Vitya, he’s already pitched his fit about you leaving him.”

His fondness grew for the kid, _he missed him_

“Vitya, I can’t believe I’m saying this. I will let you stay, if you let Yuri come along as well.”

“I-what? He will tell everyone and I can’t let her know.” his eyes widened, did he just say _her?_

“Wha- never mind, your secret will be safe with us. I’ll make sure of it VItya.” he sounded so sure.

He didn’t really have a choice did he, while he is found of the ice tiger of Russia but could he keep this secret? He deliberated for a moment, he’s never seen Yuri expose secrets before. Well he doesn’t hang out with the kid much so clearly he could miss that. However, this is serious and well Yuri would be gaining something out of this. He guesses it couldn’t hurt, right?

“Deal.”

***

“Yura, I need to speak to you now!” Yakov yelled to the young boy who scoffed and begrudgingly skated to the exit. He was even pisser today, Victor has still yet to be found and his stupid girlfriend is hanging out at the rink all the time. As if he’d show up to the rink in the first place. Speaking of his stupid girlfriend, she was sitting on the bleachers typing away on her phone.

Yuri made sure to glare at her as he passed, Yuri didn’t hate many people. Surprising right. He was just a brat who spoke with his emotions and not his brain. He had hated her since Victor first brought her here.

_”Guys this is my girlfriend Nancy, Nancy this is Yuri,” he had gestered to them, “Milia, Giorgi and coach Yakov.”_

_”Hello.” it wasn’t as polite as it should’ve been._

”Blach just don’t be gross old man.” Yuri turned and skated away, he didn’t like Nancy already. 

_Over the course of that day he would here Nancy criticize him, tell him she thought he could do better._

_“It wasn’t gold worthy Victor” he’d watch as Victors face would fall and his hatred for her grew more._

_"I told you to cut your hair Victor, you would look better. Like a man._

_”That was it, Yuri threw his stuff angrily into his bag. “Don’t listen to that garbage Victor!” he had yelled before he left._

_The next day Victor came to practice with short hair and a big bruise on his right shoulder._

He followed Yakov into the locker rooms, why not his office? 

“Get your stuff together, you’re to go home and pack a bag. You’re going to Japan tonight.” 

“What!” he screeched, was Yakov trying to get rid of him? 

“Do not shout, this is important Yura. It must be kept a secret at all costs got it!” Now Yakov was whisper shouting. 

“Yes, not what the hell is going on.” Yuri used the same tone back to him, he started to show his equipment into his skating bag.

“Vitya called me.” 

He paused, “Where is he.” he clenched his teeth tight, every fiber of him built with pent up anger against that man. He knew he shouldn’t be mad, after all Victor could have been kidnapped for all they know. The stream of “tips” sure said so. 

“He’s in Hatsuse Japan, he left to coach fellow skater, Yuuri Katsuki.” 

“That jerk, he left to coach that crying nobody!” he desperately wanted to yell but he knew he shouldn’t. 

“Yura, there is something more to this.” Yakov’s tone was serious, everything about him was. He looked, worried? It didn’t suit Yakov, Yakov never outwardly showed he was worried. 

Seeing his coach like this made the hairs on his body stand up, “What do you mean Yakov?”

Yakov sighed, “I mean, Vitya said he didn’t want her to know. Her being Nancy.” 

“Why?” he secretly hoped that Victor was going to break it off with her. 

“I don’t know Yura, but Vitya has been acting different. I need you to go there and keep an eye on him. He owes you your program, you can skype video or what ever it is called with me everyday. I will work the rest out.” 

A million thoughts ran through Yuri head, thinking back Yakov wasn’t wrong. Victor did seem to change, “Fine, but my other program better get me gold.” 

The two extranged a nod, it was settled Yuri was going to Japan. They left the room, the secret shared between them. 

However they had missed the sound of a locker clicking shut. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**SlayVictorSlay:**

[Video: Victor and Nancy interview after a recored goal metal] 

Am I going crazy but did Victor flinch away from Nancy three times? 

_#Imustberight #itislateafterall #tumblrhelpmeout #VictorNikiforov #NancyJune #Vinanc_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo I am back with the fic that no one wants me to update... Sorry I swear Empire for two is coming I just have to get it right! Its so hard for me to write it!
> 
> With this fic as it has entered cannon it will be trickier for me to write as I want it to follow closely but it also needs to be slightly different. As well as the fact that sometimes this fic can be hard for me to write, it takes a bit for me to write them in an abusive relationship and with it from Victor pov its harder. I'm sorry this chapter doesn't live up to its expectations, its more so of a transition chapter and the next one will have A LOT more action.
> 
> Thank you for your comments and kudos! They mean the world to me! I've almost cried happy tears over these!
> 
> If you have questions or want to scream at me follow me on my tumblr, Staronet


	5. She's the angel of small death and the codeine scene

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bmp4QWzHak

“What did you do to your foot.” Yuri’s voice was muffled by his leopard print hospital mask, the kid stood in front of the exit to the gate, making the other passengers move around him. They shot him dirty looks that either went unnoticed to the teen or he just didn’t care, likely the latter.

“Just a mishap with glass,” Victor gave him a small smile, “I should be back to skating in a month.”

“A month!” Yuuri screeched, which startled Victor half to death.

“That doesn't surprise me, you’re always injuring yourself somehow,” Yuri ignored the other Yuuri, instead, choosing to march towards them with his hands in his pockets, “Lets go, I’m starving.” He pushed past the two, knocking Yuuri back a bit.

As the two sped up to catch Yuri, Victor thought about how he was going to tame the Ice Tiger of Russia, because if he can’t get along with Japan’s ace... Then he couldn’t teach him.

***

“Talk about a hovel,” Yuri looked around Victors room, he smiled at the young teens antics as he pet Makka, “Where’s my room?”

“Wait, you’re staying here!?” Yuuri shrieked.

“Da, Victor is my coach too, fatso, so I won’t be leaving you two alone so you can hog him! Now, where is my room?” Yuri stomped his foot, making it known that he was angry.

Victor paled, instead of the two Yuri’s bicker he instead focused on how soft Makkachins fur was and how he really missed Nancy by now. He’s been on edge, waiting for the next hit to come, he has been waiting for the Yuri’s anger to turn on him. He wished she was here, sure she’d be beyond angry and that scared him even more but Nancy was neutral. She was constant and he knew ninety percent of the time when she was going to hit him, he wanted to feel her soft hair as he cuddled with her. Hear her laugh and feel her soft kisses.

It’s funny, how he all but ran from her and feared that she’d come and get him, but now all he wants is to have her right beside him.

“Is that okay, Victor?” Oh, Yuuri was speaking to him.

“Yes.” He didn’t hesitate to reply.

Yuuri sighed and Victor worried whether or not he agreed to something bad. “Okay Yuri, put your bags away and I’ll go tell my mom to get breakfast started.” With that Yuuri left.

Yuri huffed and Victor watched as the teen squeezed his bags into the storage closet in his room, oh, that's what he agreed to.

“You didn’t listen to our conversation, did you?” Yuri didn’t turn to Victor as he spoke.

“Of course I did, you wanted to stay here and I said yes.”

Yuri huffed. “No, asshole, you didn’t,” he finally turned towards Victor, “Stop leaving conversations, Victor, it worries us.” With that the teen stuffed his hands in his pockets and left the room.

Victor leaned back and sighed, it’s nine am and he's already wishing it was night so he could sleep this day off.

His chest hurts, he wants Nancy here.

***

“It’s smaller than I thought.” Yuri muttered as they stared at the ice rink, taking one look at the boy, Victor could tell that the jet lag was getting to him. His voice was softer as well as his insults, Victor hated when Yuri was this way. Most did, because they weren’t being yelled at by the younger skater, but instead of calming him down like the rest... It made him anxious. When was Yuri going to strike next, what will be the next insult or even phone thrown at him. Even though Yuri never truly meant the words he said or ever hit him with an object, he still feared him like Nancy somedays.

“The rink is owned by my friends, Nishigori Yuuko and Takeshi.” Yuuri’s tone was lighter but laced with anger, it woke Victor from his drifting thoughts. He really should be more careful when and where he spaced out.

“I guess like your hovel this will do.” Yuri huffed before pushing pass Yuuri for the bleachers on the far right side, this left Victor and Yuuri awkwardly standing together as they both stared at the ice.

“I really can’t skate until I get my weight down?” Victor turned to Yuuri after he spoke, the younger man stared at the ice still. His head was bent down slightly and his arms hugged himself.

“Da, I can’t let little piggys on to the ice.” He mentally cringed at what he had just said, he heard the small gasp from Yuuri before the man turned to face him. He clearly was trying to make his face as unreadable as possible and it worked, for a few seconds that is. His shoulders were slumped and hunched over as he clung to himself more. God, Victor wanted to take back what he just said. 

He wanted to let Yuuri back on the ice, he wanted to apologize and tell him how cute he really was…

“Cute” Victor mentally freaked out, he couldn’t think of Yuuri as cute.

***

Sitting down Victor watched Yuri as he skated. While he had practiced with Yuri for years, he never truly stopped to watch the teen.

 _“He needs more work on his step sequences.”_ He added it to his mental list of things for his students to learn, Yuri was good. Nice strong jumps that didn’t lack in confidence, in fact all of his elements didn’t lack confidence. However, it over shadowed emotion, the teen seemed to only express anger or confidence. Neither of which would get him far in the competitive ring of Seniors. If Yuri went in like this he would never place.

“Wow, he’s even better in person.” Yuuko looked over her shoulder from where she was leaning on the barrier, he’s had very little interaction with her but even with that he could confidently say, she was a sweet, caring person.

“He is, but he has a lot to improve upon.” He leaned back on the benches, the cool metal digging into this fading bruises which caused him to wince.

“Are you okay?” Yuuko straightened up to face him.

A jolt of panic ran through him, “I’m fine.”

Yuuko gave him a long look which caused him more panic. _“What if she knew?”_ He’s been careful like always, long sleeved shirts and pants. He’s even worked on his wincing in public, which he needs to clearly work on more.

“Okay… Let me know if you need anything.” She turned back to watch Yuri again, “I mean it Victor, anything.”

He nodded even though she couldn’t see, as much as he liked her, he couldn’t go to her. It would be like last time if she found out.

_“Who were you talking to?” Nancy had been leaning against a pillar outside of the rink doors._

_He jumped when heard her “Nancy, you scared me,” he put a hand over his heaving chest, “What are you doing here? I thought I was supposed to be picking you up from your appointment?”_

_She glared at him, “Take me home then.”_

_“Nanc-” she marched off towards the car, he tensed. He didn’t know what he had done, but he knew he messed up, he did something to her._

_The car ride back was awkward at best. Nancy refused to look at him, instead she angled her body away from him. Arms crossed and frown plastered on her face. The ride up the elevator was worst as he could see the rage in Nancy build, he knew he was in for it tonight. He could feel his body shake, his fingertips became numb. He hated this part._

_The door slammed shut behind them. He sighed, toeing his shoes off with shaky hands and setting his skating bag down, he waited. The shaking heightened and so did his breathing, he knew better than to speak first. Let Nancy talk and it’ll be over sooner._

_“Who were you talking to?” Nancy’s voice sent a shiver up his spine._

_“Mila, my rinkmate.” He kept his voice soft, if he didn’t seem aggressive, then she was kinder to him._

_“Do you want to sleep with her, Nikiforov?” Her tone became more aggressive and he knew, no matter what he did nothing could soften the blow._

_“No, she’s a minor Nancy. Like a sister to me, I have never once thought of her in a romantic situation.”_

_“I saw you hug her Nikiforov!” He winced at her shrill voice._

_“Her cat died, she was sad and I hugged her. Nothing happened.” He clenched his fists, his nails digging into his palms. He was shaking harder now and his chest felt tighter._

_She grabbed his jaw, forcing him to look at her. “You’re lying!”_

_“I’m not-”_

_“You are! I saw you linger, I saw you put your hands on her hips!” Her grip on his jaw became tighter and he let out a pained noise._

_“Nancy, I didn’t!”_

_“Yes you did! You filthy cheater!” She shoved him back, which caused him to trip, landing on his back. He gasped for air, he shook uncontrollably, his head hurt from where he had hit it on his bag._

_She yanked him up by the collar of his shirt, he gasped for air even more as he gripped her wrists. “You are a liar Nikiforov! I saw you!”_

_“I wouldn’t cheat on you.”_

_“Delete Mila’s number, never talk to her again.” She yanked on his shirt again._

_“She’s my friend Nancy.”_

_“Delete her number!”_

_“Not until you delete Brett’s number.” He didn’t know where that came from, but he regretted it instantly._

_“You bastard, did you snoop through my phone!?” She shook him back and forth._

_“My ex Nancy, you’re talking to my ex. If anything, you’re the cheater here.” Why won’t he shut up, why can’t he be a good boyfriend?_

_“It was a moment of weakness!”_

_“And it was just a hug!”_

_A split second later her fist collided with his cheekbone, pain exploded in his face. Not once but twice, he dropped back to the ground cradling his face in his hands. The panic now took over him as Nancy didn’t stop her assault. In the time he landed on the ground, she had grabbed one of their shoes and started to hit him with it. He curled up, protecting his front and his head as he waited for the panic to leave, for Nancy to stop._

_His left ribs and side took most of the blows, he knew skating will be difficult tomorrow. In fact, covering this up will be hard, Yakov will notice something is off. Mila, when he stops talking to her, will know something happened._

_His mother will fuss over him again._

_Beg him to leave again._

_But how can he leave Nancy, sure she hurts him and lies to him, but he loves her._

***

It’s been a long day for Victor, his arms ache because of the crutches and he’s drained from all of the socializing. He couldn’t wait to get back to his room and fall asleep next to Makka, not giving a damn about the world. The door shut softly behind them and Yuuri called out that they were back.

After taking their shoes off, they all venture into the inn. “Have you tried the hot springs?” Yuuri turned to the boys.

Yuri shook his head no while Victor spoke, “I actually can’t for a while.” He motioned to his foot.

A blush appeared dusting on Yuuri cheeks. “Sorry, I forgot, but when your foot gets better you should give them a try,” Yuuri turned to the other Yuri, “I’m going to use them, did you want to join?”

“What the fuck!” Yuri screeched.

“Yuri P-” 

Victor was cut off, “Vitya!”

He shook his head, no, no this wasn’t happening.

“Silly Vitya! I didn’t see your note!” She shoved pass Yuri which caused the other Yuuri to catch him.

“You’re-” He stammered out as he was caught in a death grip. He wished for her earlier, but now he doesn’t want her.

“I was so scared!” Her tone was under laced with anger.

“Nancy…” He trailed off.

His mind turned off, he didn’t hear her yammering, didn’t hear Yuri’s swearing.

He drifted away from Nancy once more, he wasn’t here. 

He was on the ice, dancing with Yuuri. They were holding on to each other as they slowly skated in figure eights, soft piano music mixed with their blades on the ice filled the air. It was peaceful, calm here, and when he looked into Yuuri’s eyes he didn’t seem lost anymore. The specks of gold in his eyes shimmer as they slowly danced the night away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh shit she found him.
> 
> So, I haven't updated since April... yeah sorry about that I have been busy. I finished up my senior year of highschool, got a job over the summer and now I am a freshmen in college. A lot has happened since my last update. I hope I will be able to update this fic and my others more, I am dropping a class which will give me more time and hopefully if I play my cards right I can make more time. I will try to write on weekends as I will have more time in the day to do that!
> 
> If you have happened to be a reader of "An empire for two" I am so sorry that hasn't updated since March! I am trying to work through it, its just there is a lot of world building for that that I did not anticipate! Don't worry none of my fics are going to be abandoned!
> 
> I would love to thank my lovely beta Laron1a for being my beta! Thank them because now I have someone to catch my errors!
> 
> You can follow me on my tumblr which is Staronet, same name as here!


	6. I taste you on my lips and I can't get rid of you (So I say damn your kiss and the awful things you do)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nancy and Victor have a talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Just one more hit and then we're through_   
>  _'Cause you could never love me back_   
>  _Cut every tie I have to you_

The door shut softly behind him. Victor kept his head down, trying to make himself smaller. He didn’t know what to expect from Nancy. He was thinking of what she would usually do and surveyed the area. There was only a lamp she could use against him, but that was too hard to grab impulsively. He was safe from harder objects for now.

“Victor.” 

He looked up at her and he held eye contact for a second but then quickly ducked away from her gaze once more. He couldn’t quite tell what her emotion was. Was she angry? Was she sad?

“I’m so sorry!”

He held still for a second, a moment in which he felt time stop but when he raised his head to see a sobbing Nancy, it came crashing down on him. He made a move to comfort her but he stopped when she held up a hand.

“It’s my fault, I-I mistreated you and I drove you away. I let what my father taught me get to me again, I’m so sorry.” She curled in on herself as she started to cry harder.

“Nancy, it's okay. I forgive you.” He reached out to put his hand on her shoulder, which was the best he could do with his crutches.

“I’m so sorry.” Her words were muffled by her hands.

Seeing her like this made his heart hurt and an ache of some sort formed in his chest. “Nancy, it’s okay, I should have been a better boyfriend.” 

“I promise, Vitya, that I’ll change. I really mean it.” He held his breath as she looked up at him, his heart racing for a moment before he took a deep breath. He calmed himself down as he moved to cup her cheek. She leaned into the touch and laid a soft kiss on his wrist.

“Okay.” He whispered, her eyes sparkled as a smile spread across her lips. She stood up and hugged him tightly which he reciprocated with on arm around her waist. She pulled back slightly and laid a kiss on his lips.

“I’m glad. I missed you.” She moved back to hug him.

“I missed you as well.” He muttered as he leaned into the hug and hoped that this time will be different. That she really means it this time. After all, she flew out to Japan to find him and she apologized. She had every right to hit him but she apologized instead. He closed his eyes and buried his face in her hair. It smelled of her strawberry shampoo that he loved.

It wasn’t like last time, this time it was different.

************************************************************************************************************************************************************  
_He wakes to the sun peeking in through the curtains and onto his eyes. He curls up in a tighter ball on the bed to give himself comfort, however, it just causes him to hurt more. He can tell without opening his eyes that his eye is bruised, the pain when he moves his left eye shooting to the back of his head._

_He tells himself that he has to drag himself out of bed for practice, that he’s late but that he still has to go. The Grand Prix Final is in two weeks and he can’t afford to lose more practice. With a groan he’s able to stumble out of bed, swallowing against the vomit threatening to come up as he sways on his feet. Again, he stumbles to the bathroom where he washes his face and brushes his teeth, all the while his head pounding along with his heartbeat._

_Looking up he catches his face in the mirror, one eye is swollen a bit with both of his eyes starting to bruise, it scares him. He opens the medicine cabinet and grabs some Tylenol to hopefully take away the pounding headache. He swallows the pills and then goes to change. He doesn’t bother to shower or even eat, which his mother would scold him for._

_Running causes his chest hurt and when he runs he can’t breathe. It feels like a fire is set in his chest and he tries to jog which still hurts but less. All the while he’s dizzy, probably from the few hours he slept and the headache. Finally, he reaches the rink and avoids the secretary like Nancy has told him to. Thankfully, when he enters the locker room it’s empty, which gives him time to sit down on the bench and rest. He rests his face in his hands as comfortably as he can._

_He thinks about last night. Nancy has broken her promise-again. She’d promised after making him cut his hair that she would stop hitting him but at least she didn’t cheat again. He had tried to reason with himself before, but it’s pointless. Maybe his mother is right and he should leave, but he loves Nancy and maybe they can make up again. Give her another chance and if she hurts him again, then he will leave._

_With a sigh, he starts to get ready for the ice and for facing his rinkmates. He needs to come up with an excuse for his bruising. Tripping over his dog and hitting the table sounds reasonable. At least to him, it does. When he exits the locker room he’s greeted with the sound of Georgi’s music playing. It’s soft piano music that slowly builds up with violins then it adds vocals. Just like the piano, they are soft at first until it hits the drop, both meeting together to create a beautiful song. It has no lyrics, just instrumentals. Georgi has told him the meaning but he can’t remember._

_As the song ends he walks out from behind the curve of the bleachers. For a moment no one notices him which is nice. He sets his water bottle on the edge of the barrier next to everyone else. As he does that Yuri skates up to him. The preteen doesn’t look too happy to see him._

_“Yakov is pissed you showed up late and now he’s taking it out on us.” The kid grabs his water bottle and starts to drink from it._

_Victor looks up to reply, only to have to dodge a spray of water, the pre-teen in front of him choking on the rest of it. “What happened to your face!?” Yuri yells after he recovers from his coughing fit. This draws the attention of the rest of his rinkmates. With all eyes on him, he feels his face grow hot, something he does rarely._

_“Oh my God, Victor, your face!” Mila skates quickly to Yuri’s side. She reaches out to look at the bruising, only to stop when he flinches away. He waits for the hit that never comes as he watches Mila retract her hand._

_Yakov and Georgi are making their way over to him and he can’t make eye contact with Yakov, instead, he chooses to hug his arms close to his body and look at his water bottle._

_“Well, Vitya, what happened?” Yakov stands at his side, for once not yelling at him._

_“Nothing, I just fell and hit my face on the table. I’m lucky my nose didn’t break.” He tries to smile, but it hurts to move his face causing him to grimace in pain._

_“Bullshit!” Yuri cuts in, surprising him with his language._

_“I really did fall, ask Nancy.”_

_“I agree with Yuri,” Georgi added. He feels a cold sweat break out across his body. His head pounds and his vision swirls, feeling like he’s going to shake right out of his skin._

_“Well I did, now leave me alone, I need to practice!” He doesn’t mean to yell at them, but he’s reaching his breaking point with them. If they push further he might tell the truth and they’d threaten to take him away from Nancy. He knows his father has tried. Nancy told him so._

_“Everyone, back to practice. We’ll talk later, Vitya.” Yakov runs a hand through his thinning hair. The others are hesitant to move but follow Yakov’s orders. He starts his warm-up on the ice, sticking to his corner of the rink. His head pounds with every twist and turn. He doesn’t know how he will do jumps but he’ll have to fight through the pain to do so._

_It’s hours later and he’s dead on his feet, his vision fuzzy and his head pounding more but thankfully he’s finally done. As he packs up his things in the locker room, hoping to ditch Yakov before he can catch up to him, he instead is cornered by Yuri._

_“I know you’re lying.”_

_“You just hate Nancy.” He fires back._

_“I never said I was blaming Nancy.” Yuri trails off. The pre-teen looks down at him with wide eyes._

_“Well, it sounded like you were.” He tries to cover his tracks. Yuri is young and hopefully, that will mean he won’t tell._

_“Believe it or not, I actually like you, so don’t let her beat you up if she is.” With that Yuri stomps out of the locker room. A year later he will take back his words of liking him, but not about Nancy._  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_SlayVictorSlay_

[Video: Victor and Nancy interview after a world record medal]  
Am I going crazy or did Victor flinch away from Nancy three times?  
_#Imustberight #itislateafterall #tumblrhelpmeout #VictorNikiforov #NancyJune #Vinanc_

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Haithereintenselies - Reblog_

i think you’re crazy they clearly love each other and he could just be jumpy after all  
_#VictorNikiforov #NancyJune #Vinanc #theyloveachother_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, its been a hot minute hasn't it... I am so sorry I left this for a while I honestly had a hard time finding out how to go about this chapter as well as just getting to write. Now I know I have put out more stuff since I last updated this but that was more simple than this. I don't want to do this wrong and such so I am very careful when it comes to writing this, this is also short for that reason. It felt wrong to add more to it, don't worry you'll see a lot of action and such next chapter. Chapter five was the place that the fic really takes off into Victor and his journey, as well as the canon plot. 
> 
> I have a playlist with all of the songs I have used and I don't know if you guys would like to see it now, or at the end? Or if you even want to see it at all. I do want to say that I used "Nicotine" by Panic! at the Disco and you should really check out the song as I feel like its best put in this chapter. Georgi's song was Atlas: Hearing by Sleeping at last. That band will be in here a lot and you really should check them out, they have beautiful songs.
> 
> My twitter is @staronet2 I don't go on Tumblr as much but I am on there as Staronet, discord I am under the same name as well if you need to reach me. I have links to all of my social media and such on my Tumblr! Thank you for reading, please leave a comment letting me know what you think will happen or what you'd like to see! Or even to just tell me this is shit ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Wow okay, this idea just popped into my head and my lovely friends (beans and kitty) enabled me to do this. They let me write a lot of angst. This is a hard topic to touch and if you feel at all that I have unrepresented or degraded abuse in any way please tell me! This is serious topic and I would never want to be stereotypical about the way it is presented. You obviously have noticed that this is a female abuser, while it doesn't happen as much as women men still get beat up and abused by there partners. I feel like not only is this a good thing to really bring to light, (though the use of shitty fan fiction welp go me) it is also something we don't really see in the fandom. I guess what I am trying to say here is that abuse is shitty and we are shitty if we let people get away with it.
> 
> This fic will be up for a while and if I don't get anyone on board with it then I will take it down, this fic means a lot to me and for it to not get any good reaction or any at all will crush me. So if you would like more please tell me. I have a big ass long chapter two and a third one in the works as of right now.
> 
> Come visit me on my tumblr @sassy-potato-of-wonder there you can scream at me about causing our sons pain.


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